Oh goodness, what sweet people you've created. The arcs you take them on of learning to have confidence and bravery from Daniel and Vala are quite compelling. I think there might be some issues with pacing, but it actually felt very real-time--that someone trapped inside their own mind would have the time, certainly, to really consider things. I particularly liked the idea that Vala would have a very different effect on Sallis than Daniel had on Harrid.

And, I'll just second azjanika's prompt to post to several communities. I generally post to two: one a noticeboard community like stargatefic or stargate_slash, and the other a more specialized community, like mitchells-sg1, teal'c fic, gate_bitextual, girlgate, something like that. I honestly don't know of a comm for OCs or for guest character POVs, but I'd be very curious if you find on, as I also have a fic like that. *g*