aurora_novarum (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aurora_novarum) wrote2008-10-06 06:11 pm
aurora_novarum) wrote2008-10-06 06:11 pm
Fic: Revelation and Damnation
Title: Revelation and Damnation
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1100
Category: Angst; Gen;
Warnings/Spoilers: Through Season 8
Notes Happy Birthday, fellow Libra![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ultranos_fic. Kind of a dark present, sorry. But it's all I could come up with. :-/ (I can always resort to Daniel pics later, heh).
She strode down the ramp behind the others. She should feel relaxed now. Home. But her nerves were still frayed. She could sense danger still to come at any moment, even as the wormhole shut down behind her. Would she be able to finally relax?
"Come on, Carter. Snap out of it. Another day done saving the galaxy. It's time to hit the showers." The colonel grinned at her as he flicked some of the mud encrusting them all over onto Daniel, who scowled in response as he tried to clean his glasses, but only ended up smearing more mud over them.
"Yes, sir." She forced a smile she did not feel. She could not even try to engage in their forced banter. She couldn't–not...not now.
"Major Carter." Teal'c was staring at her with such intensity she froze under his gaze like a deer trapped in headlights. "You should not be troubled by your actions. Your efforts in battle led to our success. It was a good day."
Slowly the knots unraveled–a bit, just a bit–enough that this time her smile felt more genuine. "Thank you, Teal'c."
She parted ways with them at the showers, quickly sloughing off her clothing and stuffing it with gusto in a hazmat bag. The muddy encrusted fabric felt like an alien entity in and of itself...
She would not think of that anymore. She was here, among the familiar smells and sounds of the SGC. Her sanctuary. She washed the alien dirt with its iron consistency away, feeling the hard water beating away at her skin, washing it clean–as if she could rinse away all her troubles.
As she dressed in clean garb–she wondered what would happen when she went to the infirmary? Would Janet recognize what–no, not Janet. Never again would it be Janet. She closed her eyes to that remembered pain. Would Warner or one of the others sense she change she now felt beat within her? The damnation she exuded despite all the assurances to the contrary? How would...
Her reverie was interrupted by the klaxon's blaring, and the technician announcement of an unscheduled offworld activation. Doom cleaved through her as she ran to the control room. Could this be the moment of judgment she'd felt since she stepped down the ramp?
She got there a few moments before the colonel and Daniel, the latter's hair still damp.
"Seems to be a virus in the dialing computer. The iris is trying to disengage, sir." The technician shook his head, bewildered.
"Override!" the colonel barked while she scrambled to a spare computer and started typing code. An instinctual action for her. Defending this place, this home to save herself, her family. But now...her instinct was torn with thoughts. Was this action any different than the aliens SG-1 met?
She had learned survival was a fragile and diverse concept–a matter of perspective. Her mind flashed back years ago to a MALP accident that had almost led to the destruction of the SGC–Her near death. Survival was the Entity's motive, to defend, and to attack. She still held Jolinar's memories, scattered like wisps of wind in her mind. Instinctual to survive–to take a host. To live. Should she be the harbinger of destruction for many to keep the fragile existence of few?
Click.
Her conscience's wanderings stopped as she heard it. The tell tale sound of metal striking metal on the ramp. Was this how armageddon would come this time? Not with betrayal or surprise, but a frontal direct attack?
Click.
She stared at them swarming through the active wormhole, the colonel's orders lost in the din of the controlled panic permeating the room. She stared at the man she had known as her commanding officer for years. She did not listen to his words. He was communicating through his eyes–fear. The same fear he had when he'd first met the creatures on Thor's ship, when SG-1 had saved the Asgard. The same fear he'd shown when the team was held under First's direction. The fear that had led to resolve as he'd signaled the betrayal of Fifth...the betrayal Sam had felt compelled to carry out. It was orders, and despite Fifth's compassion, it was survival. Us against them.
The best would survive.
She turned to Teal'c, already in the Gate Room, firing indiscriminately at the Replicators. Teal'c was a warrior, tried and true. She wondered if he ever questioned his own duty–if he still felt guilt at the actions he had taken under Apophis. He had proven his loyalty to the Tau'ri time and time again, but she knew his ultimate goal was not for Earth's sake, but for the Jaffa. He wanted the Goa'uld destroyed. He wanted freedom for his people.
She agreed–freedom was a lofty goal. And the Goa'uld were a scourge throughout the Milky Way. Would that dream be realized now?
Click.
One of the Replicators had somehow made it to the control room and was dangling near her console. The percussion of gunfire blasted it apart before its eyes. She turned to see Daniel lowering his sidearm. "Are you okay?" he asked.
She nodded, not daring to speak. She was caught in musings while the SGC crumbled around her. She felt more disconnected to it now, studying the lines on Daniel's face. She remembered when those eyes were less haunted. Before he'd been to the land of enlightenment, where the mysteries of the universe had unfolded before him. What had he learned there, this surreal existence where he had visited the colonel, and Teal'c, but not...Her? She felt a flash of anger at this man she knew as one of her greatest friends. Had Daniel discovered secrets there that would have stopped this moment from ever happening? Would have stopped...him?
There he was, as she knew he would appear. Fifth, surrounded by brethren, stood at the base of the ramp staring up to the control room. The colonel and Teal'c were both firing at him–to no effect. She could see the hunger for vengeance in his eyes, the desire for destruction and for...acceptance.
Even after the betrayal, Fifth was caught between two worlds. Too human for the other Replicators, too metal for the humans. The image of Pinocchio flashed through her head as she watched him. The toy who wanted to be a real boy. He was consumed by his passions–rage and desire. She stared at him now, at all of them, recognizing the futility of it all.
Something broke in her that instant, the tenuous link she felt that had both bound and disconnected her from her people. She knew who she was now, and knew what she must do.
Fifth's corruption had led to destruction and creation–his own empire of army bugs, working to do his bidding. It had led to...Her torture...
Her realization.
Her creation.
Click.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1100
Category: Angst; Gen;
Warnings/Spoilers: Through Season 8
Notes Happy Birthday, fellow Libra
ultranos_fic. Kind of a dark present, sorry. But it's all I could come up with. :-/ (I can always resort to Daniel pics later, heh).She strode down the ramp behind the others. She should feel relaxed now. Home. But her nerves were still frayed. She could sense danger still to come at any moment, even as the wormhole shut down behind her. Would she be able to finally relax?
"Come on, Carter. Snap out of it. Another day done saving the galaxy. It's time to hit the showers." The colonel grinned at her as he flicked some of the mud encrusting them all over onto Daniel, who scowled in response as he tried to clean his glasses, but only ended up smearing more mud over them.
"Yes, sir." She forced a smile she did not feel. She could not even try to engage in their forced banter. She couldn't–not...not now.
"Major Carter." Teal'c was staring at her with such intensity she froze under his gaze like a deer trapped in headlights. "You should not be troubled by your actions. Your efforts in battle led to our success. It was a good day."
Slowly the knots unraveled–a bit, just a bit–enough that this time her smile felt more genuine. "Thank you, Teal'c."
She parted ways with them at the showers, quickly sloughing off her clothing and stuffing it with gusto in a hazmat bag. The muddy encrusted fabric felt like an alien entity in and of itself...
She would not think of that anymore. She was here, among the familiar smells and sounds of the SGC. Her sanctuary. She washed the alien dirt with its iron consistency away, feeling the hard water beating away at her skin, washing it clean–as if she could rinse away all her troubles.
As she dressed in clean garb–she wondered what would happen when she went to the infirmary? Would Janet recognize what–no, not Janet. Never again would it be Janet. She closed her eyes to that remembered pain. Would Warner or one of the others sense she change she now felt beat within her? The damnation she exuded despite all the assurances to the contrary? How would...
Her reverie was interrupted by the klaxon's blaring, and the technician announcement of an unscheduled offworld activation. Doom cleaved through her as she ran to the control room. Could this be the moment of judgment she'd felt since she stepped down the ramp?
She got there a few moments before the colonel and Daniel, the latter's hair still damp.
"Seems to be a virus in the dialing computer. The iris is trying to disengage, sir." The technician shook his head, bewildered.
"Override!" the colonel barked while she scrambled to a spare computer and started typing code. An instinctual action for her. Defending this place, this home to save herself, her family. But now...her instinct was torn with thoughts. Was this action any different than the aliens SG-1 met?
She had learned survival was a fragile and diverse concept–a matter of perspective. Her mind flashed back years ago to a MALP accident that had almost led to the destruction of the SGC–Her near death. Survival was the Entity's motive, to defend, and to attack. She still held Jolinar's memories, scattered like wisps of wind in her mind. Instinctual to survive–to take a host. To live. Should she be the harbinger of destruction for many to keep the fragile existence of few?
Click.
Her conscience's wanderings stopped as she heard it. The tell tale sound of metal striking metal on the ramp. Was this how armageddon would come this time? Not with betrayal or surprise, but a frontal direct attack?
Click.
She stared at them swarming through the active wormhole, the colonel's orders lost in the din of the controlled panic permeating the room. She stared at the man she had known as her commanding officer for years. She did not listen to his words. He was communicating through his eyes–fear. The same fear he had when he'd first met the creatures on Thor's ship, when SG-1 had saved the Asgard. The same fear he'd shown when the team was held under First's direction. The fear that had led to resolve as he'd signaled the betrayal of Fifth...the betrayal Sam had felt compelled to carry out. It was orders, and despite Fifth's compassion, it was survival. Us against them.
The best would survive.
She turned to Teal'c, already in the Gate Room, firing indiscriminately at the Replicators. Teal'c was a warrior, tried and true. She wondered if he ever questioned his own duty–if he still felt guilt at the actions he had taken under Apophis. He had proven his loyalty to the Tau'ri time and time again, but she knew his ultimate goal was not for Earth's sake, but for the Jaffa. He wanted the Goa'uld destroyed. He wanted freedom for his people.
She agreed–freedom was a lofty goal. And the Goa'uld were a scourge throughout the Milky Way. Would that dream be realized now?
Click.
One of the Replicators had somehow made it to the control room and was dangling near her console. The percussion of gunfire blasted it apart before its eyes. She turned to see Daniel lowering his sidearm. "Are you okay?" he asked.
She nodded, not daring to speak. She was caught in musings while the SGC crumbled around her. She felt more disconnected to it now, studying the lines on Daniel's face. She remembered when those eyes were less haunted. Before he'd been to the land of enlightenment, where the mysteries of the universe had unfolded before him. What had he learned there, this surreal existence where he had visited the colonel, and Teal'c, but not...Her? She felt a flash of anger at this man she knew as one of her greatest friends. Had Daniel discovered secrets there that would have stopped this moment from ever happening? Would have stopped...him?
There he was, as she knew he would appear. Fifth, surrounded by brethren, stood at the base of the ramp staring up to the control room. The colonel and Teal'c were both firing at him–to no effect. She could see the hunger for vengeance in his eyes, the desire for destruction and for...acceptance.
Even after the betrayal, Fifth was caught between two worlds. Too human for the other Replicators, too metal for the humans. The image of Pinocchio flashed through her head as she watched him. The toy who wanted to be a real boy. He was consumed by his passions–rage and desire. She stared at him now, at all of them, recognizing the futility of it all.
Something broke in her that instant, the tenuous link she felt that had both bound and disconnected her from her people. She knew who she was now, and knew what she must do.
Fifth's corruption had led to destruction and creation–his own empire of army bugs, working to do his bidding. It had led to...Her torture...
Her realization.
Her creation.
Click.
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First off, YOU WROTE ME FIC FOR MY BIRTHDAY! (And I like darkish fic, so even more yay!)
Second, you wrote me RepliCarter fic for my birthday!
And its RepliCarter realizing and trying to figure out what she has to do and where she fits and what she can't have and...
I'm gonna go off and gleefully flail a bit more. :)
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And yay! Replicarter! I mean, I've been hearing you and
So glad you liked it!
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*flails at the story in lieu of actually saying anything meaningful*
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It was a fun writing exercise, anyway. Glad to know it worked for you!
Replicarter = Like Sam, but EVIL. ;-) Although obviously, she wouldn't see it that way.
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Gasp!
Oh my -!
*Passes out.
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Thanks!
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Just...wow. That was dark and creepy and absolutely wonderful.
Wow.
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really really nice. and you know I love dark :)
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Glad you liked it!
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Very evil of you. I like.
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Horray! My evil plan worked!Yeah, Sam was having an unusual identity crisis for a chick who blows up suns. But I figure Replicarter learning how to be...how did Daniel put it? "an evil killing machine", and yet still is Sam at her core as well...that's got to cause some crisis of conscience in her, er, programming early on.
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2) Oh, man, this is her with Fifth in the beginning - this is how she became who she is and just...*shudders*
I love how it's just this normal team interaction and she's just a tad distant, a tad worried (I did wonder if early on she knew she was metal and was pretending she was flesh or if everyone knew she was metal because it appeared like she was hiding it, but it seems like with medical exams and injuries, it would be hard to hide for long but it's also confusing having Fifth messing with your head so it's fine that it's not clear)
3) I love the distance with the team - the way she has the instant reactions (going to the computer) but also the way she isn't sure, isn't jumping up to help (can't destroy her brethren, but can't welcome them and *who* and *what* is she and that whole conversation in "Gemini" about what she can do and what is betrayal) and the thing with Daniel is just...*shudders*
I love the "click" thing. Because all those thoughts and worries seem long, but her brain processes fast so they're really taking very little time between metal spider steps.
And you just put together her confusion and lost-ness so very thoroughly well.
[was that enough praise to get you to write more of her? :P]
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2. Yes! I just imagined that scene she showed Sam in Gemini was maybe real, and maybe she'd been through so many different scenarios, some he would let her play out as Sam, some he would insist she be immediately assassin. So this time, she was just biding her time and wondering how the ax was supposed to fall in this scenario. And originally I wasn't going to have it be a base invasion, it was going to be more of a Tin Man revelation, but thought the base attack got my point more immediate.
3. Right, having the team she remembers and knows as her family attacking the "people" she knows at her core are her own and having Sam's darker moments and memories of doubt flare in her at the same time...it was creepy to write.
"Click" wow...you explained something so clearly I wasn't even sure I'd gotten fully figured out in my own head as to what I was doing there.
And as for more of her...we'll see. I want to read yours and ultranos's first! :-D [does that give you motivation?]
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2) Oh, I think what she showed in Gemini was VERY real. Easiest to lie with as much truth as possible. And, god, that makes so much sense and just...*shudders* Poor RepliCarter.
3) Yep. That's the hardest thing about her - because at her core Sam wants to belong and RepliCarter has Sam's core, but has nowhere she belongs - can't be who she is or who her brain says she is. It's actually really tragic.
Hee :) The click thing is awesome. And maybe I've spent WAY too much time in super-tight Human-replicator mindset (with Weir) but that really jumped at me. Part of what's interesting in playing with them is playing with how they do and don't think like humans.
I have SO MUCH motivation. And no other fic deadlines hanging over my head. It'll happen.
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I can see this working two ways: as an AU where the "Sam" they found was actually Replicarter, and as a scenario that Fifth plants in Replicarter's mind when he's "training" her (see, I know that much about Gemini). But oh, wow, this is creepy and twisty and gooooood.
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So glad you enjoyed it!