Writing meme
Jan. 29th, 2009 10:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aurora_novarumOoh, writing meme! I can never resist these...to do or to visit at other people's.
Comment with a story I've written, and I will tell you something I knew, learned, or wondered about while writing it that didn't make it onto the page.
Gakked from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kalquessa.
You can find all my fic listed here.
Comment with a story I've written, and I will tell you something I knew, learned, or wondered about while writing it that didn't make it onto the page.
Gakked from
kalquessa.You can find all my fic listed here.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 04:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 04:21 am (UTC)Okay, so..."Triple Layer Bittersweet Chocolate" (i.e. the Sam POV of WWJD)
(Yes, this was the segment I infamously "punted" back when the characters were fighting with the muse (http://aurora-novarum.livejournal.com/82857.html).)
Okay...this part:
He stared at her a moment, his mouth twitching in a smile but looking between her and Daniel as if they should share some unknown joke.
Sam was uncertain what he found amusing, but her dark mood held no humor.
I wondered whether Teal'c revealed much of his "Changeling" dream to his teammates. He mentioned how Daniel helped him in "Orpheus", but the details were vague. Sam was a big part of his subconscious comforting him at the SGC (even if she kept insisting on his drinking "warm milk" to his displeasure) and then of course glowy Daniel purposefully showed up.
So to Teal'c it was quite a moment--and thus something he would feel when he knew Sam was unsettled in her new role. Thus he shared a secret joke...except the other two weren't there/wouldn't remember, so they couldn't share the laugh at the punchline. Sam at least was aware there was something to his statement, even if she didn't understand and was still too sulky to try. *pets Sam*
Aw, SG-1...bonded in ways they don't even understand!
(And...I feel like I'm a sellout that I'm giving you a Teal'c moment instead of a Sam insight from this fic so...if you'd rather hear something about her, I can try again.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 05:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 05:10 pm (UTC)As she dressed in clean garb–she wondered what would happen when she went to the infirmary? Would Janet recognize what–no, not Janet. Never again would it be Janet. She closed her eyes to that remembered pain. Would Warner or one of the others sense she change she now felt beat within her? The damnation she exuded despite all the assurances to the contrary? How would...
That ellipses is where I actually had a new revelation while writing the draft.
The way the fic is set up, I figured Fifth would go through multiple versions of the scenario Replicarter showed Sam in Gemini. And at first I was going to have it be more like "Tin Men", the infirmary would show her as the other, even as she still felt like Sam and she'd see her differences with Fifth and SG-1 that way in how they reacted to her not being Sam and thus rejected.
But it wasn't Janet and it seemed a bit awkward and retreading the Tin Men ground, so instead this "version" of Fifth's training had a delay before the base attack of Replicators. It conveyed the same message but in a more dramatic way.
(I still wish I had taken one or more turns with a revision pen to this...I'm not so practiced in writing this way.)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 10:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 06:06 pm (UTC)Teal'c working with the pachyderm shepherds...much like he corralled the Abydonians in "Full Circle". (Picturing him being a general of these animal tanks was amusing).
Sam and Daniel working in this chamber to try and shut things down, with Daniel translating and Carter switching out crystals a la "The Sentinel" episode of Season 5.
Reynolds working on the siege fortifications a la "The Iliad."
Lorne's team ended up at a bird farm (with lots and lots of feathers). I think John Adams was still fresh in my head and the tar and feathering concept as a battle technique. But then the feathers stuck in my head, which led to the pillow factory comments. I have a feeling that particular battle didn't work out as planned at all. But the feathers likely helped blind the enemy. (And Lorne was still at the SGC in Season 8, it was neat to have him "active" there).
Like I said...epic. It was fun playing with multiple teams working together on a seat-of-their-pants plan. And also fun to just get...a picture of it after the fact. The readers can imagine the whole saga better than I could ever write it.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 03:06 pm (UTC)Script Form Prequel to Insurance SNAFU
Date: 2009-01-30 06:26 pm (UTC)I did have backstory for the Pentagon, of course. I can just imagine the conversations with Davis and O'Neill.
(OMG, you've gotten me to write a prequel!)
Davis: Sir, we're getting a red flag from Cheyenne's CPO division.
O'Neill: Flex time during lockdowns again?
Davis: No, sir, it's Dr. Jackson.
O'Neill (suddenly serious): Daniel? What is it?
Davis: Well, he's being rejected for (trying hard not to smile at all, not funny, not at all) life insurance.
[O'Neill chuckles.]
Davis: Sir, the CPO is at her wit's end with the redacted file and she's asking some pretty pointed questions. I think we have to tell her...[wow, how to explain this?]
O'Neill: Does she have clearance?
Davis: Yes, sir. She's our liaison when we have civilian casualties, but it's more need to know.
O'Neill: Fine, I'll sign off on it.
[Pen pauses...]
O'Neill: You know, I'm due for a briefing at the White House in twenty...and Daniel may just think this is all a joke.
Davis (confused): Sir, I'm sure Doctor Jackson would take this...
O'Neill (waving him off): Yeah, but he knows how my mind works. I'm sure Hayes wouldn't mind. Maybe I should get Hammond's John Hancock too...
Davis: Sir, I really don't think...
O'Neill (with a dangerous twinkle in his eye): I'll get this back to you soon, Major.
[Later, Davis gets the authorization, with just O'Neill and Hayes's signature. He glances at summary report and shakes his head. Nine Lives Jackson. This woman doesn't know what she's in for. He'd dealt with Pat Jennings before, and liked her. Poor soul. He couldn't resist writing "Good Luck" on a post it before closing the file and putting it in the courier bag.]
Re: Script Form Prequel to Insurance SNAFU
Date: 2009-01-30 07:09 pm (UTC)And no ponies!
Re: Script Form Prequel to Insurance SNAFU
Date: 2009-01-31 01:00 am (UTC)Re: Script Form Prequel to Insurance SNAFU
Date: 2009-01-31 01:14 am (UTC)I defy you to sell that line!
Oh, don't defy me. :-)
Re: Script Form Prequel to Insurance SNAFU
Date: 2009-01-31 01:57 am (UTC)Re: Script Form Prequel to Insurance SNAFU
Date: 2009-01-31 02:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 03:41 pm (UTC)Hee!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 07:50 pm (UTC)Well, aside from never quite making up my mind of how technologically advanced the Machotins were...
I found it hilarious that Jack was the voice of reason (although snarky one) at how ridiculous the whole scenario was in the first place, and yet after the escape, he was the one to embrace the silliness even more. Not even realizing he was humming "Over the Rainbow", while the rest of the team wanted to just get home and try and forget the whole thing happened.
(which actually fits his character, in a way)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 08:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-31 01:11 am (UTC)My cheat for this backstory is I used my canon of "Full Circle" (otherwise known as "Interference") as the backstory for here. It's pretty heavily hinted canon that Daniel stacked the deck and told the system lords, headed by Yu to be there. But Daniel wouldn't remember that. Yu and possibly his first prime would.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 11:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-31 02:24 am (UTC)When it was Jack's, it started with them in line for security and Teal'c starting to ask questions there at the displays you could see and getting strange looks from the crowd. It got trimmed down to a couple of odd looks when Teal'c is talking about Apollo 11 where there's people nearby.
(Rewatching Small Victories I realize that scene isn't quite gelling with canon since Teal'c pulled a "one small step for jaffa" line, but I'll fanwank it Teal'c saw the footage and didn't realize it was THAT fragile a craft).
no subject
Date: 2009-01-31 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-31 02:46 am (UTC)Bill was going to reference his wife and family in one of the scenes where he's dreaming of rescue and thinking he's not cut out for this. But I wasn't sure it was canon then, and so just left it open. I wish I hadn't. Sometimes I wonder if PTSD from this affair caused his divorce (he has kids via 101 Dalmatians, but plays the field in Atlantis).
no subject
Date: 2009-01-31 03:59 pm (UTC)I wrote Bill in "Fostering Relations" as having a marriage strained by his PTSD, which turned out to work quite nicely. (I suspect, however, that the writers had simply forgotten that Bill was married by the time they got around to that later episode.)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-31 04:15 pm (UTC)(Your image of Bill not wanting to close doors still stays with me). I think there must've been something there. Maybe or maybe not related to Evolution.
P.S. I don't mind you always ask about Bill. Bill Lee is awesome!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-31 02:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-31 02:56 am (UTC)It was actually difficult because I purposefully wrote it more from "team" pov, not getting into anyone's heads--a third person limited unseen narrator as it were. I wanted to try and convey all their thoughts and emotions through their dialogue and action. A way of keeping us somewhat in the dark the way they were kept in the dark of what Hammond and Jack and us as readers (and watchers of Shades of Grey) already knew.
I ended up putting everything in the fic I wanted to. Some people think I should've dropped the Makepeace scene additions, others say it's their favorite part. I wished I had morphed two of their missions into one. It was hard to believe the canon that this all took place in one week.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-31 07:20 pm (UTC)I liked the Makepeace scenes, especially the commissary make-up scene where he doesn't know what to say after finding out SG-1 doesn't know Jack's leaving. Makes him more rounded as a character than he's often portrayed in fics.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-31 07:36 pm (UTC)I considered shifting between them in point of view, but I didn't want to focus on one over another of the threesome. It was the reaction of them all that equally mattered an being omniscient would be too much a mind trip for me as author or the reader, and also elevating the reaction of one over that of the others, even if I switched back and forth.
At least that's what I tried to do. The result may have been a flat less-emotional impact than moreso.
ETA: And re Makepeace. Yes, that commissary scene is my favorite moment with him. Because he did feel he was doing his duty, he just had a warped view of how best to achieve the SGC's mission. (The actor reportedly hated he became a traitor...aside from the fact he lost his gig, he didn't see it as part of Robert's character).
no subject
Date: 2009-01-31 08:58 pm (UTC)You were definitely in Hammond's head at the beginning. It was in the middle that I wasn't quite sure what you were going for. Most of the time I got that you were in an objective/neutral POV, but a few things struck me as crossing the line into omniscient . E.g. "Sam arrived first, looking around lost and wondering if she shouldn't have gone to her lab instead" as opposed to "It was obvious Daniel was weighing the question heavily in his mind." To me, the first is in Sam's POV, whereas the second is either in someone other than Daniel's or in an objective one.
As I said before, I'm pretty heavily biased against omniscient, mostly because authors often (lazily, in my opinion) use it to tell what a character feels instead of showing it through action and dialogue (and boy, do I ever regret once trying to explain that thought to an author who always writes
sloppy third person subjectiveomniscient). However, that's clearly not what you were or ever have been doing. I was momentarily distracted trying to figure it out, but got caught up in what was happening. I actually think the neutral perspective was a good way to go, I just found you sidestepped out of it occasionally. And that's entirely my own preference and opinion; yours and everyone else's may differ substantially.I totally agree on Makepeace. Good character. Decent guy. An inappropriate view on what was best for Earth.